


The Elves are Acting Dodgy

by Mandraiv, Saomik



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cultural Differences, Dalish, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-02-17
Packaged: 2018-03-13 10:48:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3378749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mandraiv/pseuds/Mandraiv, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saomik/pseuds/Saomik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The elves ARE acting dodgy, five times the Herald and the Inquisitor are acting wierd and it is blamed on their origin, when it rightfully should be blamed on stupidity, lack of common sense, craftiness and deviousness.</p><p>AKA the Dalish are wierd, but not that wierd</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dash as the prince of flowers

Dash were struggling through the reports slowly, the words appearing fuzzy even in the light from the lantern on the table. For all the material the Inquisition laid claim to there were always more requisitions and right now he had to weed out the weak ones. His sister, light of his life, Herald of Andraste and quite frankly worst of the worst had disappeared as soon as they passed the gates leaving him the task he was perhaps least suitable for of all.

 

Well he mused, they could have asked him to lead the prayer but that only happened once and while they were away from Skyhold. It had only been Cassandra’s timely intervention and threats of deadly force that had ended that conflict without either Dash or the pietous baron decorating the walls of his silly overly ornate chapel.

 

As if summoned by his earlier ill wishes he heard the door open downstairs and quick feet working their way up the stairs...and then a second pair of feet, armoured and heavy. Vhenan had arrived, but not alone it seemed.

 

For all the control trained into him from childhood and all the logic he had forced himself to adopt simply to avoid shooting everything in sight he could never properly explain his reasoning behind the next move. He dropped the page, heaved himself up onto the balcony railing, dropped and then grabbed so he was hanging and then simply let himself fall. He rolled expertly as he hit the roof of the building below, roof tiles cracking but holding as the force of his fall shook him and deceptively soon fell again, just a few feet now onto the grass of the garden. A couple of birds lifted disturbed but the garden had been empty and still for once. For a moment nothing moved or made a noise

 

Then a pained groan escaped.

 

It could have been worse he thought depressingly about half an hour later as he laid there, still not finding the strength in him to move his battered body. If his sister had realised he might actually scare of the easily spooked templar from “visiting” she might have blasted him off the balcony herself and he would get a new scar to match the old one on his stomach from when she first started manifesting.

 

Later as he was contemplating the value of not moving for fear that his rattled brain might slide out of his ear with a single tilt of his head versus the value of actual medical attention (stealing potions and falling asleep in the old cobwebby library no one had claimed yet) footsteps approached.

 

“Is there anyone here?” Came the accented tone of the orlesian priestess. It was better than an assassin he supposed, but not much.

 

“Just me mother Giselle” he answered without even moving to look. If he was still and had lived a life pleasing to the gods she might just move on.

 

She approached.

 

“Ah Inquisitor” her voice was filled with startled curiosity “Might I ask what you are doing out here in the dark?”

 

“Room got a little stuffy” he said evenly without looking at her

 

“Ah” her voice filled with understanding that frightened him a little, he certainly didn’t understand anything.

 

“It must be difficult, the changes you have put yourself through to come so far”.

 

“Sometimes” he said cautiously, not knowing where this where going and not liking the journey at all

 

“In any case, I shall leave you be” Her footsteps faded away in the distance again

 

“Well that was weird” he said to himself after she had left. He stood after a couple of hours and limped towards the tavern in search of stitches.

 

**\-------------------------the next day-----------------------------**

 

“Brother why is mother Giselle filling our room with flower pots”

 

Dash looked up from his continuing struggle to understand even scout Dagna’s careful blockscript. The Crown of Prophets Laurel falling askew on his head as the young servant girl, barely into her teens but still co-ordinating the soldiers efforts in turning the siblings shared room into a garden giggled.

 

“Deal with it” he said regaly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of an AU:verse were Dashem and Vhenan Lavellan both survies and are marked, we're trying to get the main story ready for posting but since this didn't really fit in anywhere in the main timeline and were supposed to be read in a row for best effect we decided to post it seperatly.
> 
> And regarding the King of Harts bit, Dash did find enough honey to smear a thin layer on his face and cowl. After which the cowl died in a fire and he started wearing a real grown up helmet
> 
> We're first time posters so if you notice anything wrong with the formating please let us know. As well as any other useful hints.


	2. Vhenan, nature’s grace

The water is beautiful, Vhenan thought as she sat on the bank by the small creek. She sighed as she stretched her legs, bare feet dipping into the cold water and soothing the blisters on her soles. As liberating as bare feet may be, stepping on nettles always made her consider to slip on some shoes.

 

She’d just reclined back into the grass, eyes closed and feet still resting in the water, when something tugged at her hair.

 

“I’m n-not sleeping” she murmured and opened her eyes to the sun, sitting up and turning. That’s when she saw it, one of Leliana’s ravens, and it had it’s blank black eyes focused on her.

 

She tilted her head to the side as she regarded it, the bird following the motion with it’s eyes. It’s cold, black, dead eyes she thought and shuddered as she scooted to the side, feet still in the water.

 

The bird followed, hopping on tiny feet.

 

“Noo..” she raised a hand and made a shooing motion. “You want to go to the scouts”

 

It kept staring and  flapped it’s shiny black wings.

 

“The scouts”. Vhenan pointed back to the tents further into the small glade. “Shoo!”

“Caw!” it hopped ever closer then raised one leg to her. She saw the rolled up message attached to it. Yet the thought of touching that scaly bony thing...

 

A disgusted noise escaped her. She pursed her lips and leaned away, pulling her feet up from the blissful cool of the water. The raven seemed at least half as annoyed as she was. It cawed again and pecked her cloth clad thigh.

 

“Ow! No! Go away” she flapped her hands in sad mimicry of the bird. “Fly. Over. To. The. Scouts!”

 

On the other side of the glade

“Have you seen how the Herald seem to communicate with that bird?”

 

“I am not surprised. My cousin once told me that the elves are in touch with their nature on a whole different level than us humans”.

 

The two scouts nodded in understanding as they observed how the young woman seemed to flap her own arms in unison with the bird.

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of an AU:verse were Dashem and Vhenan Lavellan both survies and are marked, we're trying to get the main story ready for posting but since this didn't really fit in anywhere in the main timeline and were supposed to be read in a row for best effect we decided to post it seperatly.
> 
> And regarding the King of Harts bit, Dash did find enough honey to smear a thin layer on his face and cowl. After which the cowl died in a fire and he started wearing a real grown up helmet
> 
> We're first time posters so if you notice anything wrong with the formating please let us know. As well as any other useful hints.


	3. Dash, the king of harts

For being such an able stablemaster there were very little Denneth had confessed to knowing regarding their more unusual mounts, he learned quickly enough with the dragolish and were able to convey his knowledge. Besides those were beasts of Dashs own heart he thought fondly, mean, spiteful and spiny. They were unfortunately completely useless in the cold, as were his favorite charger. Vhennys piebald dalebred horse would do well in the Emprise, but then again Vhenan were going with them. That left him the red hart who until now no one had dared saddle.

 

He had nothing against the beast, proud of it’s might and thankful for the clans gift of it, there just wasn’t an understanding between them. The hart was not trained to accept any rider as the more docile horses were and he couldn’t take it behind the barn and have it out with him man to beast as he could the dracolisk, which had earned him a net loss of about a pound of flesh from his shoulder but left him a loyal mount.

 

He couldn’t beat up a halla...well a sort of halla anyway, just wasn’t done. The hart in question were grazing peacefully beside him now. Seemingly unaware of the elf that had alternately screamed, cursed and plead as he tried to bodily drag the enormous beast away to get him saddled. The stablemaster previously mentioned had not tried to domesticate the beast even slightly but told Dash that “his people” (apparently Halla-riders) probably trained it only to accept elven handlers. Apparently the Hart didn’t recognize Vallaslin when he saw them and had made no effort to cooperate with Dashs efforts.

 

Dash took off his cowl and wiped the sweat of his forehead. he couldn’t return without the mount, would look bad to the humans, and even worse for the few elves gathered by the inquisition. Couldn’t get the blighted thing to move and despite how tempting it was, couldn’t give up, resign his position to Cassandra and live out his life in this glen with the hart. Surely something this unaffected by rage would take care of any invading forces he thought spitefully. He picked out the tiny loaf of honeybread Sera had traded him for keeping Cole out of her room and nibbled while he tried to forcibly relax his muscles one at a time, the body first and the mind would follow. Suddenly a warm breath touched his neck and he rolled away instinctively.

 

The hart looked vaguely interested in his direction, sniffed and took a couple of steps towards him again.

 

“So bribery is your weakness then” he mused as he kept the bread out of the Harts way. “can’t say I blame you”

But he couldn’t really be seen walking and dangling treats directly in front of the Hart to get him to move. It would not be much better than not retrieving it at all.

 

He let the hart have the loaf as he thought about the new possibilities and smiled

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Saw the Inquisitor return with that giant horned beast an hour ago”

 

“Yeah Denneth sent his best men after it and returned empty handed, must be a Dalish thing”

 

“Yeah the way it kept licking him in the face, probably like the mabari you know, feel if someone is right”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of an AU:verse were Dashem and Vhenan Lavellan both survies and are marked, we're trying to get the main story ready for posting but since this didn't really fit in anywhere in the main timeline and were supposed to be read in a row for best effect we decided to post it seperatly.
> 
> And regarding the King of Harts bit, Dash did find enough honey to smear a thin layer on his face and cowl. After which the cowl died in a fire and he started wearing a real grown up helmet
> 
> We're first time posters so if you notice anything wrong with the formating please let us know. As well as any other useful hints.


	4. Vhenan's moonlight serenades

The scout leaned over and nudged his partner.

 

“Hey, do you see that?”.

 

Stationed as they were they had a good lookout over the camp and he nodded towards the small figure sneaking out of her tent and into the underbrush next to the firepit.

 

“I do, what’ya think she’s up to?”

 

“Herald?” the other man scoffed. “Probably some elvish crap, dancing in the moonlight or whatever.”

 

“Suppose. It is a full moon…” He gazed up at the sky, the moon was illuminating most of the glade with it’s white light.

\-----------

Vhenan stumbled and cursed as the hem of her robe stuck on the low hanging branches. She squinted and winced as some of them slapped her in the face.

It should have been a simple business; step outside, find a secluded spot, make water. She was certain that their father had taught them directions, at some point. Yet she found herself horrible lost.

 

“Andraste’s H-herald shouldn’t need help using the latrine” she gritted out through clenched teeth. “Come now, the s-sun sets in east…”

 

Or was it west? Plus how is she supposed to tell where the sun is when it’s in the middle of the night? Resigned she sat down and leaned her back against a tree. It was not terribly cold outside, being midsummer, she could most likely just whether it out.

 

That is if there wasn’t so much noise outside.

 

“I’m dalish” she murmured to herself as she wrapped her arms tightly around her middle. In the distance a branch snapped and Vhenan tensed up. “It’s just a ram. You’re fine. You’re f-fine” she buried her face in her arms, crossed over her chest. What if assassins got her? Or a bear! These parts of the Hinterlands had bears right? Oh Cullen had told her not to wander off alone.

 

There it was again, something was heading her way. Vhenan raised her hand slightly, magic rising and crackling in her palm.

\-------------

“And then?” Sera was leaning forward on her elbows, hair almost touching the wooden surface of the tavern table. Vhenan smiled shyly at her small gathering, clearly enjoying her role as storyteller.

 

“A white h-halla appeared”

 

“Pffft! No it didn’t!”

 

“It d-did, and it l-lead me back to camp” she leaned her head in her hand and smiled.

\--------------

“Herald?”

 

“B-blackwall?” she croaked.

 

“Your brother told me you might get lost” the bearded man came into view, his teeth shone in the dark, he was grinning. “You know the camp is straight through here, right?”

 

“I k-know. I was… um..  dancing” she pushed off the ground and stood, brushing of her leggings, trying to hide her embarrassment.

  
“Dancing huh?” he chuckled and turned his head to look at the moon. “I suppose it’s a good night for dancing.” he turned back to her and offered her his arm, which she gladly took. “Tell you what, a lady of your standing should have an escort back to camp”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of an AU:verse were Dashem and Vhenan Lavellan both survies and are marked, we're trying to get the main story ready for posting but since this didn't really fit in anywhere in the main timeline and were supposed to be read in a row for best effect we decided to post it seperatly.
> 
> And regarding the King of Harts bit, Dash did find enough honey to smear a thin layer on his face and cowl. After which the cowl died in a fire and he started wearing a real grown up helmet
> 
> We're first time posters so if you notice anything wrong with the formating please let us know. As well as any other useful hints.


	5. Lavellan, and elven courting rituals

“I knew it” Sera said as Vhenan passed Solas the water bottle.

 

“What idea have you got through your head now?” he asked her, taking a swig and handing it back with a smile.

 

“You. Elves” they both looked quizzical and she gestured between them. “Elves always pick elves, so that elfy things will bump”.

 

Whereas Solas didn't even deem the statement worthy of an answer, Vhenan simply smiled.

“Dalish courting is a bigger procedure. Hardly s-suited for being on the road”

 

Solas looked back at her and further ahead she could see her brother and Dorian stop and turn around, listening.

 

“What ya’all dance in the moonlight or whatever?” Sera snorted in disbelief.

 

“Not at first. First, the male must slay five different beasts and stitch their pelts together” she smiled. “He then drapes the hides around his intended. The two then dance in the moonlight during the moons four stages. Then they are bonded”.

 

She looked up at her companions. Solas had turned his face away slightly, lips pursed in confusion and humour. Sera, however, looked absolutely horrified.

 

“What for real?”

 

“Of course” Vhenan cocked her head slightly to the side. “How… do humans do it then?”

 

"Shite i don't know! Drink, fuck, eat cookies or whatever!"

 

"Huh" then she added, as if an after thought. "I wouldn't want Solas anyway"

 

"Pfft I get ya, he's so stuck up ain't he?"

 

"No. I'm in love with Cullen"

 

"Yeah yeah we all know" Sera exclaimed "Geez. See this is why I just can't pull pranks on you. Too frickin' innocent"

 

Further up the road Dorian looked over at Dasheem.

 

“So. Have you ever…?”

 

“Slayed five beasts and stitched a cape? Oh yes” he grinned at Dorian. “He was very appreciative”.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of an AU:verse were Dashem and Vhenan Lavellan both survies and are marked, we're trying to get the main story ready for posting but since this didn't really fit in anywhere in the main timeline and were supposed to be read in a row for best effect we decided to post it seperatly.
> 
> And regarding the King of Harts bit, Dash did find enough honey to smear a thin layer on his face and cowl. After which the cowl died in a fire and he started wearing a real grown up helmet
> 
> We're first time posters so if you notice anything wrong with the formating please let us know. As well as any other useful hints.

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of an AU:verse were Dashem and Vhenan Lavellan both survies and are marked, we're trying to get the main story ready for posting but since this didn't really fit in anywhere in the main timeline and were supposed to be read in a row for best effect we decided to post it seperatly.
> 
> And regarding the King of Harts bit, Dash did find enough honey to smear a thin layer on his face and cowl. After which the cowl died in a fire and he started wearing a real grown up helmet
> 
> We're first time posters so if you notice anything wrong with the formating please let us know. As well as any other useful hints.


End file.
